Call the Elephant: The Courage to Say What Needs to Be Said
When tension fills the room and progress stalls, leadership means naming what everyone already knows—calmly, clearly, and in service of the team.
This article is part of our Enterprise Leadership Series, exploring what changes when leaders move from functional excellence to enterprise impact.
The update ends.
No one speaks.
You can hear the faint whir of a laptop fan, the click of a pen cap.
Eyes dart, then drop. Someone forces a smile.
Everyone knows what’s wrong—but no one will say it.
The silence stretches until it swallows the room whole.
The program’s at risk. Cross-functional teams aren’t aligned. Timelines are slipping.
Everyone feels it. No one says it.
That moment isn’t just uncomfortable—it’s a test of leadership.
And the leaders who pass?
They call the elephant.
Call It → Reset the Room
There’s always a power shift when someone names what others are avoiding.
Not because it takes nerve—though it does.
Not because it creates tension—done right, it releases it.
But because it shows real leadership.
As a leader, you can’t play it safe.
You’re there to move things forward.
And that means being willing to say what others won’t.
And when you do, people notice.
They stop waiting for someone else to lead.
Trust starts to build in the only way it ever really does—through truth.
Why Most Leaders Hesitate to Say What Needs to be Said
Most wait too long.
Not because they don’t see it—because they’re protecting themselves.
Managing optics.
Guarding someone’s feelings.
Second-guessing their read.
Waiting for someone more senior to say it.
So the meeting ends. The issue lingers.
Next time? Everyone’s even quieter and more careful.
What you don’t say shapes the culture just as much as what you do.
Why You? The Room Is Waiting
There’s a myth that calling the elephant means being the most confident or experienced person in the room.
Not true.
The bar isn’t having all the answers—it’s having the guts to start the real conversation.
One honest sentence can shift an entire room.
That’s why it builds respect.
Not because you were fearless.
But because you were useful.
This Isn’t About the Right Words—It’s About the Right Intent
You’re not trying to catch anyone off guard.
You’re trying to move the conversation to where it should have been all along—cracking the shell of avoidance so real work can begin.
It might sound like:
“Are we saying we’re aligned, but actually working from different assumptions?”
“Is part of the drag here that there’s still no shared ownership between [Function] and [Function]?”
“Is it possible that [Name] needs some additional support to be successful in this phase?”
It’s not about the words. Not really.
It’s about intent.
You’re not calling anyone out.
You’re calling the problem into view.
You’re not assigning blame.
You’re inviting conversation and shared ownership.
When curiosity leads, people feel less cornered and more engaged.
That’s what keeps the conversation productive—and the trust intact.
Try This: 3 Moves to Name It Without Derailing the Room
1. Cue the Shift
Signal intent with a line like:
“I want to name something I think we’re avoiding.”
“Before we go further, can we check in on something?”
2. Make It Specific and Constructive
Focus on the pattern, not the person. Impact, not just emotion.
“We’ve had a few rounds of discussion without closure—are we avoiding a tougher conversation that needs to happen?”
“There’s hesitation to commit. I think part of it is no one wants to own the risk.”
3. Hold Steady
Don’t rush to soften or overexplain. Let the room catch up.
If silence follows—hold it. That’s where the real work starts.
What to Do With the Nerves
That rush you feel right before you speak?
It’s not weakness.
It’s the body’s way of saying, This moment counts.
Don’t fight the nerves.
Focus them.
Breathe lower and slower. Let your voice follow your breath.
Plant your feet. Feel the floor hold you.
You’re not calling anyone out.
You’re trying to move the team past what’s keeping them stuck.
And yes—you might be afraid of what happens next.
Afraid it will sound like blame.
Afraid someone will take it personally.
Afraid it might come back to you later.
That’s normal. Every leader feels that.
But the risk of speaking up is almost never as costly as the silence that follows.
So take a breath.
Lead with curiosity.
Say what needs to be said—calmly, clearly, and in service of progress.
Bottom Line
The moment will come.
You’ll feel the room holding its breath—waiting for someone to say what everyone already knows.
Let it be you.
If you can name it clearly, hold it calmly, and stay open to what comes next,
you won’t just move the conversation forward.
You’ll reset the team.
